“…Waterloo, couldn’t escape if I wanted to… do dooooooh do…

“It was the best of times, it was the Wurst of times?” Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst and Nigel Farrage (farrago, shurely, Ed?)” The Janus-faces of Europe?

Highlights of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest included Poland’s entry – a disturbing potpourri of nationalist costume, incongruous Bangra-Rap beat musical ‘styling’, and Men Only fantasies.

Slavic to the Rhythm? Poland’s Eurotrash re-defining entry ?

Meanwhile, France – managed to combine the kind of terrible, attention-seeking bad club-dancing one would only see of a drunken pair of Essex swingers on a Saturday night, alongside breath-taking cultural stereotyping…

“…sock it to me baby! (not)” – a limp, lamentable effort from the French at half mast.

…thereby narrowly taking the lead from Poland’s Transform Clinic-sponsored Bangra-rap-nationalist ‘butter-churn’ act.

As this Al Qaeda recruiting poster of Trans-Euro Excess unfurled,  one could only breathe a sigh of relief. The Danes, having closed and converted the Refshaleøenex dockyard in Copenhagen into the venue for the contest, are further aiding Europe’s re-positioning from the manufacture of dull old things like ships and castles of steel, towards the quintessence of the tone — and vision — of Europe?

…Waterloo, I was defeated you won the war…La-la-lah-la-lah-la…”