Category Archives: Uncategorized

Aldi’s ‘Traditional’ Values? (Warning this post may contain traces of ‘Imazalil’)

Traditional Orangery?Traditional Orangery?

I must take issue with supermarket group Herr Aldi & Co, the (“it’s amazing how much I saved”) toast of all Perfect Shire dinner parties these days; despite the perfectly passable quality of the clementines, therein, this “traditional grocer’s box” bears no resemblance to the pale and splintery stapled wooden ‘slatted’ boxes which characterised such fruit and veg sellers’ receptacles of yore.

Aldi's 'traditional' Christmas 'Orange' Day Parade?Aldi’s ‘traditional’ Christmas ‘Orange’ Day Parade?

Indeed, I would go so far as to say that far from being ‘traditional’, this is a very ‘modern’ form of packaging indeed, based on compressed mdf-like material, perhaps even with the hint of hygenic ‘wipe clean’ plasticisers added for good measure, but poor authenticity?

My traditional Christmas (or ‘Festive’, as per the label on the box) now ruined. Bah humbug Aldi!!!

clementine 2 of 2 20151129_132933

May contain traditional values and ‘Imazaliil’ [sic] wax? Presumably non-connection to potential carcinogen ‘Imazalil

See also The Guardian’s 2006 “Survey points to unsafe levels of pesticide residues in food” and an interesting 2015 (United States) alert site – ‘Food Sentry‘ – documenting regular Imazalil contamination. There’s also a routine Daily Mail ‘shock horror’ type story from 2012 which mentions Imazalil and other fungicides, too.

BBC’s The Kitchen… #thekitchen

“Think Googlebox – yeah – but.., with the TV replaced by an oven?… ”
“Mmmm, by Jove, you might be on to something… ”

“Do you like pheasant, Cresidda? What? No, mother has to wear a leather hat when she makes gin… what, well, it’s about authenticity…”

Omelette Arnold Bennett trumped by ‘s Omelettes Alan Bennett…?

…Mozarella eating, leather hat wearing, Mongolian holidaying, ennui’d tribes of London fail to see Benefits Street parallels?

Eurovision’s Waterloo?

“…Waterloo, couldn’t escape if I wanted to… do dooooooh do…

Conchita Wurst and Nigel Farrage pretending to be a man

“It was the best of times, it was the Wurst of times?” Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst and Nigel Farrage (farrago, shurely, Ed?)” The Janus-faces of Europe?

Highlights of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest included Poland’s entry – a disturbing potpourri of nationalist costume, incongruous Bangra-Rap beat musical ‘styling’, and Men Only fantasies.

Conchita Wurst (no really) - Head of Women's Studies, University of KrakowSlavic to the Rhythm? Poland’s Eurotrash re-defining entry ?

Meanwhile, France – managed to combine the kind of terrible, attention-seeking bad club-dancing one would only see of a drunken pair of Essex swingers on a Saturday night, alongside breath-taking cultural stereotyping…

Three French Dicks - France's Vision of Europe

“…sock it to me baby! (not)” – a limp, lamentable effort from the French at half mast.

…thereby narrowly taking the lead from Poland’s Transform Clinic-sponsored Bangra-rap-nationalist ‘butter-churn’ act.

As this Al Qaeda recruiting poster of Trans-Euro Excess unfurled,  one could only breathe a sigh of relief. The Danes, having closed and converted the Refshaleøenex dockyard in Copenhagen into the venue for the contest, are further aiding Europe’s re-positioning from the manufacture of dull old things like ships and castles of steel, towards the quintessence of the tone — and vision — of Europe?

…Waterloo, I was defeated you won the war…La-la-lah-la-lah-la…”